S for Stupid

People are sometimes so stupid. They keep on making the same stupid mistakes and stupid gestures and never take a hint, or a hike. You state the obvious over and over again, until you bluntly take aggressive action to make your point reach their thick stupid skull, and still they don't get it.

What else should I do? How can I make it clear to you that being stupid is just not cool? It's .. well, stupid! Don't you get tired of being rejected? Does it not bug you that your sentences are being stopped short and you are never getting what you want out of the conversation?
I'm a free spirit and you've got the spirit of a grandfather! Maybe later in life you can play with my children but that's also far fetched because they will be more precious than to be thrown into your whirlpool of boring-ness..

Ughhh!!! stop sending me messages! Stop calling me! Stop initiating contact and maybe then you'll realize that I'm not even trying to initiate contact with you!!

In other words... F*** off!! Bugger off!! Go away, just go away! Could you? Just go away?

Oh! And why do you assume that people are willing and happy to hear you babble on about complete and utter nonsense? Why don't you ever just shut your irritatingly never closing trap?!

How can someone be as dumb as you are? Why the hell do you assume that you are something that you're not? You are neither significant in my life nor at all important to me, so pleaase pleeeaaaaase do not act like you are, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT!!

And what's with the completely lame excuses to talk to me? and about what? driving instead of you because your finger is injured? Are you for real? There's no way I'm getting in your car at all! I wish it were your neck not just your finger! what the hell is up there in that skull of urs? jelly???

Whatever... I'm wasting too much blog space on you.. go to whichever shiny spot in the universe away from me, STUPIDO!

Fi 7ob Masr

Sorry for those who don't understand arabic.. but I can't express the next lines in any other language...

" Masr asia awy 3ala weladha ya basha"... gomlet hend sabry fi 3emaret ya3qoubian. aktar gomla fe3lan bet3abbar 3an 7al el balad. 3an masr. e7na weladha we ben7ebbaha we mane2darsh ne3ish men gherha... di mahma kan ommena. bas ommena asia awi 3aleina. mesh asia 3ala kol el nas tab3an bas asia awi 3ala weladha elli begad. sayed we 3amm faye2 beta3 el khodar.. bawab el 3emara elli gambena we merato we welado... wel sett elli ad geddet geddety elli lessa leghayet delwa2ty betet7esher fel otobis 3ashan teroo7 te2dy masla7a.. we weladha elli rakbin el mowaslat el 3amma fi 3ezz 7ar seifek ya masr we shayfin men 7awaleihom 3arabeyat ashkal we alwan akher model be kol el kamaleyat we takyif 3al khaddein yehafhaf.. we homma malhomsh gher el 7amdolella 3ala kol 7aal we ya rabb el sawa2 mayetkhane2sh enaharda 3ashan nel7a2 newsal el gam3a.. 3ashan bardo manet3alemsh we netla3 menha 3al ahwa 3edel... we ma7adesh ye3edd ba2a el batala weslet le kam 3ashan mat2elloosh baraket-ha. "Masr asia awi 3ala weladha ya basha". masr sayba weladha yetbahdelo fel masale7 el 7okomeya we kol men hab we dab yematwa7 fihom yemin we shemal... wa7ed ad geddy leih yetbahdel 3ala eid wa7ed tany ma3addash el talatin sana a3ed regl 3ala regl we yermilo wara2o 3al ard we yeb2a baseslo be araf we ka2eno arfan 7atta yetef fi wesho.. we bardo ma3zoor maho bardo men weladek ya masr. We gherhom zorofhom a7san shwaya men welad masr.. menhom wa7ed shofto fi eshara men kam yom.. rakeb 3arabeya... yekhaliky lih ya ommena.. VolksWagen.. beatle, el khonfesa el adima.. howa we merato we 3eyalo el talata elli mazno2in 3ala kanabet el 3arabeya.. el 7amdolella eno fih 3arabeya.We mesh lazem abtedy 7atta atkalem 3ala 3asaker el moroor elli men awel el nahar le akher el leil wa2fin fi ay gaw fi nafs el za7ma elli e7na we7na fe 3arabeyatna elli fiha takyif mabnesta7melhash 3ashar da2aye2 3ala ba3d. wala hatkalem 3ala 3asaker el tashrifa elli beyzayeno el share3 belsa3at.

Oh Well, Too Bad

OK, so I have this little confession;

Ever had this feeling about someone that you wanted to be with them, even though you knew for a fact that it was totally absurd?? And down right impossible??? I'm not being clear at all. I know.

Let's see how I can put this... This guy I know, he's so attractive, he's got that star quality about him, not that little boyish Leo Di Caprio kind... The Bruice Willis kind. Of course, as usual he's younger than me ( why should he be any different from almost all my male friends ?!) and of course there could be nothing between us at aaalllll! But there's still this attractiveness about him.. Oh well. whatever!

You see, the problem with me (although I know it's not a problem, it's actually a good thing) is that I'm not the kind of person who would be with someone if it's not for all the right reasons. I don't do flings, I don't go for a relationship just for the fun of it. I really think it through before taking a step toward something serious.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not the "if you like me, propose and let's get married" type! ughh!! Those people freak me out! On the other hand though, I'm not the "Ok, I like you, be my boyfriend" type either.
I like to have some firm common ground between me and someone and then hook up and see where it takes us.


I've wasted my time and yours on this silly post. I'd better get back to work.

Later...

Letter to God

I won't go through small talk, you know me enough to get streight to the point.

I'm sorry. I cross you a lot and you still forgive me. You show me in too many ways that you love me, and I go and do the same things that make you sad over and over again.

I try not to cross you, but I don't try hard or long enough. I just take the easy way out and say well, maybe next time I'll get it right but deep down I know that it's not enough.

I love you and I know you love me beyond imagination, and I know that you've conquered sin to allow me to be free.

I don't want to be weak anymore, I want to make you happy. Please help me be your daughter, make me fit to be the daughter of the King.

Loud and Clear ! Crap!!

Wow... it's been a while! I've been so swamped lately that I haven't had time to visit my blog or any of the other ones I've grown addicted to along the way. And now I'm back but with nothing much to say.. well there is this one event...

The most embarrassing thing in the world just happened to me two days ago at work.
I was sitting at my cubicle, no.. actually standing which meant that I was visible to everyone.
I was undocking my laptop to go to a meeting room, so I press the eject button and to my horror, the loudest sound of music that could ever be heard comes out of my lovely, not so discrete laptop! I frantically try to mute it and nothing happens! I realise that the mute button is not working because the pc is locked.. and to try to unlock it now and wait for it to log on and then start to mute that thing would take forever. I started to notice that a circle of curious and in some cases angry and disapproving eyes was quickly forming around me and its radius was growing every passing second. I had to do something but I wasn't quite sure what, and that guy singing in my speakers just wouldn't stop!!! And then suddenly I figure it all out, the reason this guy started screaming out of control is that I udocked the laptop and the headphones were attached to the dock-station! so I start fumbling with the headphones to try to remove them from the dock-station and place them back into the laptop itself until I finally (after what seemed like a century) manage to do that and the music is finally gone. I look and i see at least a dozen faces directed my way. I say "Sorry... Sorry" and I duck, continue to gather my stuff and wait a few minutes then head for the meeting room and stay there for the rest of the day.

Life's a BLAST
Cheers!

Shawsheska II

(for the best reading experience, read it while listening to John Williams - Schindler's List Theme - violin solo by itzhak perlman)



"Dear Diary,

I decided today to cut to the chase. I hereby admit that there is no such thing called love. I've been thinking a lot about it and trying to tell myself otherwise. I tried so hard to believe in it that it was becoming rediculous.

I always felt that love was so grand and that it was the most amazing feeling you could ever experience.. that it made you feel that no matter what happened that could get you down, there was always that part of you that was untouchable and always happy simply because you were in love... I was stupid.

I tried so many times to explain what it is but I couldn't because it's an illusion. People created it because we all want to belong to something so powerful, so invincible, so sacred. We all need to feel that we are more important than the whole world to someone, and so we convince ourselves that someone is more important than the whole world to us. We pretend to fall in 'love' and drown in our pretences and fly so high only to plummet and break.
Wether we get broken hearted because we discover that the one we 'loved' didn't really 'love' us back, or we fall right back out of 'love' the end result is the same: one of both parties took the lie a little bit further, or rather a little bit more seriously than the other.

So to hell with it all, I want out. Out of this stupid game of believing, anticipating, hoping that Santa Claus is actually real and that this christmas he will bring me the gift I've written down on the decorated piece of paper that I stuffed into the stocking on the fireplace... "

Lock the doors, close the curtains and just leave me be
There's no heaven, no bright angels, nothing else but me
Tears have fallen, pure hearts broken, pain as black as night
Cover all my shattered dreams and leave me out of sight

Paper-Work Heaven Part II

I should have written this on Thursday but I didn't have time to do that, then went away on the weekend so now....

I had two main things left on my list, the first one was "ka3b 3amal", so I went to the place where they do that on Wednesday, only to find that they needed 3 documents; my ID and a copy of it, my college graduation certificate and a copy of it and finally my insurance number. The first two were a piece of cake, the third one was supposed to be so as well according to the nice lady who told me what I needed.( she was really nice, friendly and smiled at me while talking, I almost thought something was just not right) She told me I had to go to the insurance office and just ask for that number. The funny thing though was that she told me I had to come back the next day because they were out of "ka3b 3amal" forms! Huh???

So I went to the insurance guys, went into an office that had a big glass cube with a bunch of employees inside it and some round openings in the glass through which we could talk to the employees. I went to the first one I saw and tried to ask her where I should go exactly to get that number, "Good Morning :)"... no answer...."Excuse me"... nothing, then she turned towards someone next to her and talked to them. So I figured she was not deaf or dumb. "Ma'am"...absolutely nothing.
What bugged me the most was that she was playing the "busy" part by sitting and typing stuff on an almost extinct version of what we used to call a computer way back when we didn't know any better. Honestly, who are you kidding??? If she had been nice enough to look at my ID she would've noticed that I'm a computer science major so who on earth was she kidding??? Not that I expect her to waste her precious typing time on me, but at least respect the citizens who walk by and see you doing that and at least had definitely seen a computer once before at some point of their wretched lives!

In a last attempt to get her attention or at least bug her a bit I bluntly called out "Ya 7aggaa" and still there was nothing from her side so I went ahead and asked someone else who directed me to the queue that i needed to be in.

After standing there for a couple of minutes, (it was just me and another girl and 7 or 8 men) some guy passed by and told me helpfully "why are you standing here? there's a queue for women over there.. go stand there " ( for the egyptians out there reading this and not yet bored, he said "fih taboor lel 7areem oddam! " I totally hate this word, it disgusts me huuuugely :S ugh!

This is one of the very few times that I appreciated discrimination in Egypt. I got the insurance number in 5 minutes instead of an hour and was on my way home. Went the next day and got the ka3b 3amal thing in 5 minutes as well. It was a stupid piece of paper that looked like an ugly receipt. What strange things they ask for .

Now I was done except for the very last thing that I had to get from the previous job: a document called form 6 that is like a release of obligations... just a piece of paper saying that I no longer work for them. It's supposed to be the simplest thing and guess what! I'll have it after one month because the manager says so. No other reason than that mister big boss says "I'll give it to you after one month of leaving us" Okaay! whatever makes you feel good (you CRAZY *#*&%@&#**#*#)

And I'm done! Yaaaaaaay!!!!!

Paper-Work Heaven Part I

Yeah, right!

Paper-work Utopia, where everyone greets you with a smile and a welcome drink, and then they adjust the AC just the way you prefer it until you are satisfactorily served and ready to go on your way. The service itself is beyond seven stars.. they know what you want before you even mention it. And before you know it it's done and voilà! home sweet home.

ALRIGHT! Snap out of it!! It's time you see the real deal (this is the perfect time to have an evil smirk on my prrrretty prrretty face)

I went to run a couple of paperwork errands today.. stuff for the new job and things that I should've done a long time ago.. I tend to leave that boring stuff till the very end.. y'know when I just have to do it. I had my ID done when I was 22 simply because I didn't need it earlier.
So the first thing I wanted to do was to renew my passport which was the easiest and nicest part of the whole thing. You go to an air conditioned hall, get a form, fill a tiny part of it and then give it to a nice lady who gives you two paper slips to fill out and that's it, you pay and get it either later that day or the next depending on how urgently you need it.
Then I started the other stuff...

I had to get a thing called "Sa7ifa Gena2eya", I guess rap sheet or something? It's where they get your fingerprints and then check your record to see if you have any prior offences. First thing I did was go yesterday at 12:15 to the booth that was designated for that errand. A booth!! I asked the woman sitting there about what documents I needed to get to do that sa7ifa thing. She replied in a Don-Corleone-like voice that I had to get the mumble mumble and a photo copy of my ID and a mumble mumble from the post office and come back tomorrow any time between 8 and 11:30 to do it. What kind of establishment finishes work at 11:30 am???!!!

Aaanyway, so today I went again at 9:15, found out what all the mumbles were from a different guy that was in the booth (Yesterday's woman must have been the customer support or something) then started my journey to collect mumbles from the PO, the police station and back to the booth to get my fingers smudged and ..er...printed? You know what I mean, or at least I hope so.


Documents List:

• Passport : check
• Rap Sheet: check

So now I have left the "ka3b 3amal". Its word for word translation is work heel which is quite bizzarre, why on earth did they call it that?? I have no clue as to what it states or what it is needed for, but they want it so I'll get it.
This document's adventure started today but is not yet complete. so I'll leave it to part two so that I give you the full story in detail.

Ciao for Now!

Oh and by the way, VIVA ITALIA!!!! Azzurri : campioni del mondo

Oracle, Here I Come !!

I keep trying to write a good beginning to this post, but nothing comes to mind... oh what the hell!

So, I left work day before yesterday. I had given my boss a one month notice a month ago ( what a coincidence, huh?) and Tuesday was my last day there. I thought I would feel terrible that day and that the gloominess would show and I would hate myself for it, but one of my weirdest characteristics kicked in and saved the day.

You see, one of the weird things about me is that things don't sink in as fast as they should with me. Like, a friend of mine would be leaving for a year or so to study abroad and I'd be all cheery about it and tell everyone off for making a scene and getting that friend all worked up about it until he/she actually gets on the plane and leaves. A couple of days later I realise the whole thing and feel terrible because I know that I'll miss them terribly.
Another stupidly bizzarre example is a friend's birthday or our prom. I'd realize the next day that it was so much fun and that I had the greatest time.

Back to the main story, I left that day all cheery and stuff after saying goodbye to all my friends and us promising that we'll keep in touch and the outings will increase significantly. And all the time and up till this very moment I totally feel that I'm just on a vacation and when I get back to work it will be in the same place with the same people. I guess it will all sink in on the first (or maybe second) day of my new job.

And now to the fun part of the quiting-the-job thing. I'm going to work in Oracle!!! yaaay! I'm so excited about it and so scared at the same time. Not that I think I won't be good at what I do, and not even because I'm afraid of meeting new people, because I already know four or five people there, one of which is going to be starting with me on the same day. I'm just scared because I'm facing a whole new experience with a whole new level of professionalism. Come to think of it, not exactly scared... a little bit on my toes is more like it. So, with my fingers crossed, I proudly say ORACLE, here I come!! :D :D

A Song

I heard a song a week or so ago and it stayed in my head ever since. It really makes you think about how we go about in our lives and how it should really be.
I won't talk too much I'll just leave you with the lyric and the song. Actually, I didn't want to write the lyric here because of two reasons.
The first and more important one is that if you read it without listening to the actual song it will lose some of its charm.
The second reason is that I looked all over the internet for it and couldn't find it so I went ahead and wrote it myself and there are a few words that I'm not so sure I heard correctly.

Anyway, you can find the song here.

PS. If at some point the link no longer works, you'll have to search for the song yourselves.(obvious, right?)

I'd appreciate any corrections in the lyric :)



India Arie - Wings of Forgiveness

Oooh

I just want you to know
After everything that we've been through
I just want you to know that I still love you
that I still love you

Yeaah

Had to go across the water
Just to find what was here in my heart all along
Spent so much time, trying to be right
That I was dead wrong
If Nelson Mandela can forgive his oppressors
Surely I can forgive you for your passion

You're only human
Let's shake free this gravity of resentment
And fly high and fly high
You're only human
Let's shake free this gravity of judgement
And fly high on the wings of forgiveness

Oooh, mmmm

Had to run to the arms of curiousity
Just to find what was here in my life all along
I have found that the art of simplicity
Simply means making peace with your complexity
If Gandhi can forgive persecution
Surely you can forgive me for being so petty

I'm only human
Let's shake free this gravity of resentment
And fly high and fly high
You're only human
Let's shake free this gravity of judgement
And fly high on the wings of forgiveness

I searched for romance, flowers and affection
What I found is a lesson of what love really is
Found the game of love is about how much you can take
But that authentic love is about how much you can give

After everything that we've been through
I just want you to know that I still love you
Want you to know that I forgive you
Thank you for teaching me how to give

And I want to let you know how much you changed my life
I want to let you know you taught me how to fly
And I wrote this song to tell you this
I'm better 'cause you taught me how to give

I took a swim in the sea of guilt and misery
To find myself on a island in the middle of nowhere
In my solitude I asked to know the highest truth
And what I was told is "To thine own self be true"
If Jesus can forgive Crucifixion
Surely we can survive and find a resolution

Let's keep it moving
Let's shake free this gravity of resentment
And fly high and fly high
You're only human
Let's shake free this gravity of judgement
And fly high fly high

Let's keep it moving
Let's shake free this gravity of commitment
And fly high on the wings of forgiveness

After everything that we've been through
I just want you to know that I still love you
Want you to know that I still love you
Let's fly high

And I want to let you know how much you changed my life
I want to let you know you taught me how to fly
and I wrote this song to tell you this
I'm better 'cause you taught me how to give

I still love you, Want you to know
I still love you
Want you to know I still love you
And I always will love you
And I want to let you know that I forgive you
I want to let you know that I still love you
Want you to know I still love you
I just want you to know I still love you
want you to know that I still love you
want you to know I still love you

Oooh
And I want to let you know I forgive you
I want to let you know I still love you
want you to know I still love you
(till fade out)

A Thing That Gets To Me

I am so angry that I can't find the suitable words to describe my anger level. How can people have that talent of making you about to explode?!

Being that angry I'm not even sure that what I write would make much sense, but I'll try to explain the reason behind that mood.

You know how people always think they know it all and they can just look at you and categorize you instantly? And the categories don't come in a large variety either, it's either good or bad.
Good is when you're like them all, that stereotypical goodie-two-shoes that does it all their way, and then there's bad; that's when you're anything that's not the conventional hypocritically boring person that they are most comfortable around.

I am not bizarre. I am not so different either. I'm just myself, but I know that people can be different and I accept their differences. So why is it so hard that everyone else would accept other peoples' differences too?

Let me give you some examples of a stereotypical mindset: (not all of those things apply to me, but it just pisses me off that they are regarded as rules, as a matter of fact that's beyond dispute)

A girl only watches football to impress guys, a girl who smokes any kind of tobacco is doing it to attract attention (male attention, of course).
A guy or a girl who goes out on his/her own to go to the movies or sit in a cafe to read or anything of the sort is a weirdo and needs psychological help.
Someone who takes a garbage collector or anyone who is not of a "suitable" social standard out for a meal and a nice chat has got some (or most) screws loose in that thing he calls a head!
A girl who goes out with a group of guys that exceeds two is definitely not well behaved, she is an easy catch and has no manners whatsoever.
On the other hand, a guy who goes out with a group of girls that exceeds two is a great guy, a casanova that is envied by all his peers for his great charm and capability to attract the laydees.

The list just goes on and on. And while most of it is just a bunch of stupid things that shouldn't affect anyone that much, when you put them all together it becomes a totally different thing. It smothers you and kills your individuality a slow, painful and most brutal death.

Too many people let their passions go to waste because they are shackled by the prjudice of the ignorant community around them. It's truly a shame...

Shawsheska I

"Dear diary,

I woke up today to the same feeling I've been having for two weeks now. I woke up to an empty bed. It's hard to grasp that we're no longer together. I just can't understand how all that was nothing but a big illusion. I went to make my morning coffee, not because I needed to drink coffee, just because that's what I do every morning. Everything is losing its meaning and nothing is making sense anymore. I drank my coffee and I can't remember what it tasted like. It doesn't matter anyway, everything turned tasteless the moment he told me he was leaving.

I didn't go to work today. I don't feel like leaving the house, and I can't stay here either. Everything in it reminds me of him, of us. Everything I touch or look at in here replays a memory in my head and I just can't stand it. I told myself this morning that today will be different, that I will not allow myself to sulk anymore and that I will go out for a walk and the fresh air will do the trick. I went out and after a long walk that I spent most of daydreaming about nothing at all, I found myself sitting on a bench in the park. Guess what, it was where he had kissed me for the first time. Ironic? Pathetic is more likely. Oh, diary I hate what I've become. I hate that person who looks back at me in the mirror and I hate him even more for doing that to me. There has to be a way to stop these tears, and this terrible pain."

Inspired by the song Illegal by Shakira ft. Carlos Santana

Blogs Are Fun!

It just hit me today that I have developed a fascination for reading blogs. I've always been curious about what goes around in peoples' minds and imagination, and to find a way to fulfill my curiosity is just great!

I didn't read many blogs yet, but I have a couple on my hands now that are very interesting. One of which is Tiny's, which is not increasing with the rate that I would like it to (but I'm optimistic that it will :) ) and the other one is already loaded with posts since it was started a lot earlier than Tiny's.

Actually I got the StatCounter idea from that other blog, so if you ever happen to stumble upon my humble blog, thanx for the great idea :)

I can't wait to finish reading all the previous posts and be up to date, and I really hope there are similarly interesting blogs around because this stuff is fun! I looked at a couple other blogs that weren't as interesting as the ones I'm reading now (not at all interesting, that is) so I do hope that there are other people like you guys and I do hope that I find them easily.

I'll go now to read some more :)
Tiny, write faster girl!

Shawsheska's Diary

I sometimes come up with stories. I imagine different situations and write about them sometimes. Some other times I just act a part. I imagine that I've just broken up with my man, or that I'm the CEO of a major organization. I never said I was totally sane, on the contrary I explicitly remember stating otherwise.

So, without further ado, I present to you Shawsheska, a young female who's everyone you can think of. She's the first woman to walk on the moon, she's the scientist who discovered that all important discovery, she's the next Ms. Monroe. She's the devil incarnate, or best of all; my favorite: just the girl next door. Shawsheska has a notebook with a colorful flower on the cover that she uses as a diary. The diary is her best friend, her confidante. The only one in the world who knows her deepest darkest secrets, her dreams and fears, the sources of happiness in her life and those of heartache and pain. So whenever Shawsheska feels like she needs someone who would really understand she talks to her dear friend Diary.

So from time to time, I will get some paragraphs out of her diary and put them out here for everyone to read. I sure hope she doesn't mind. Maybe one day she'll discover that I'm doing her a favour and helping her out of her little shell. I'm not saying that I am really doing her a favour(I honestly don't know at all what I'm doing exactly), I'm just saying I hope she would think so.

Crush And Be Done

What's with having a crush on someone? aren't we too old for that? how can you still get a crush on some guy you barely know? And being as grown-up as we are, we can see from what little we know that there's no way that it would be anything more than a crush. So why do we not get it out of our heads and get on with whatever it is that we do? Maybe because of the feelings that come with that crush, maybe that exciting giggly feeling and flirtatious behaviour that gets all your nerves working and the blood pumping inside your vains. Maybe because all the time you're on your toes waiting for that other person's next step, and thinking of steps that you could take to attract them but still be subtle enough not to expose yourself too much. I've got to admit that it is very exciting to look for signs of interest from them, to catch them while they were discreetly looking at you, or to notice how they start a conversation with you over absolutely nothing at all, or when they say that everyone missed you and someone else when both of you didn't come one day (and you know that everyone didn't really miss you both). and it is fun to see your effect on them, too when you say something funny and they laugh like you just said the funniest thing there is, even if both of you know it's really not that funny anyway, or when you both join forces to make fun of a poor unsuspecting victim and you sense that they're really enjoying it. Yes, it feels great to know you're interesting, and yes it is fabulous that you have that effect on someone you like, but it is still just a crush, you know so you have to get the best of it, get it done, and get over it! you can't just let it go to waste, right? ;)

Rock Ya Beiih, Rock Ya Haanem?

I was looking through El Sakia's site today to see if there were any interesting events coming up soon. I was actually looking for something for Wust El Balad but there was nothing this month. However, I found a couple of rock events and a tango one that I really want to check out. So I started going over a mental list of my friends to see who would be interested to go with me ( because it would be totally pathetic if I went alone, and it won't be that much fun then.), so I go over my relatively long list and I come up with two names, one of which is my mother who would be interested in both the rock and tango concerts. The other person would like to go to rock concerts but we don't quite have that bond that would make us go to any event without other friends. How fun is that? The phrase "Where have all the good people gone?" keeps popping in my head over and over... why does every outing have to involve food, aTV that's showing a song, but being muted because they have a totally different song playing in the sound system and people talking about absolute nonsense?
Anyway, I'll just take my chances and suggest that we go and keep my fingers crossed.

Just Wanted To Warn You

I should warn everyone who attempts to read these posts that there is no value, lesson to be learned or meaningful experience that you would come out with. I'm just writing bits and pieces of the product of a crazy mind. It's just a place for me to unload some of the stuff that's running around in my head, and believe me it's crowded up there. So what I write may seem stupid at times, deep at some other moments, or sincere or even just a load of junk most of the time. but it's still part of me. so bear with me and I truly appreciate your efforts to try to stay awake and read it to the end :) (that's if you'll actually do that).

So Tiny told me about this place, thanx girl, I have my doubts about you reading my blogs though, I don't blame you anyway.

And The Hippie Talks

I'm not exactly what you'd call an authentic hippie, I don't go around believing that you have every right to smoke pot and get laid and I don't believe that what's mine is yours and what's ours is everybody else's... but I do believe that things should be a lot simpler in life. You don't have to have it all made out! you don't have to have your whole life divinely planned, you don't have to be polite and considerate all the time and you definitely shouldn't abide by the rules all the time! after all, who made those rules? some other human being looking for a sense of understanding, seeking the superiority of knowing something, and making any sense out of it... and actually passing it on to other unknowing human beings as ground rules as to how to lead a well, civilized life. So I say we all have to loosen up a little and go where our whims take us, just follow our impulses as long as they're not destructive impulses that will get us in deep ... trouble :)

I don't know how to describe myself, but I tend to talk about myself a lot ( it's obvious right?). It's that i'm a mixture of so many things that I can't even figure myself out, and I think I never will. I don't mind, I think if I actually figure myself out there will be no more mystery in my life and i'll just be that dull person who's all figured out.

People say i'm crazy, they're right. I am crazy, who isn't? We all have a crazy bit in us.. some just let it go and others try so hard to hide it. I believe that those who work so hard at hiding it are the ones who turn out to be the real nutcases. It strains to try to hide who you are in a stupid attempt to appeal to people who are indifferent anyway, so it eventually drives you over the edge. At least I think so.