Does it seem normal that whenever you need something the most, that would be the time it's not there the most?
I don't think I need to explain that sentence. If I explain it it would be too personal. I want it to reflect on everyone's life. whenever You need something more than any other time, that is the time that you feel that it is not reachable...
01 November 2008
11 August 2008
Down And Out On Love
Staggering pain.... staggering, excruciating pain.
"There's nothing more to say" she said, as she sat down on the sofa. "I'm sure you know everything already." .... there was her heart; one minute it was flying with wings of stardust and gold, the next it was shot down and crushed to the ground....
Unpublished Stories for Unknown Authors.
"There's nothing more to say" she said, as she sat down on the sofa. "I'm sure you know everything already." .... there was her heart; one minute it was flying with wings of stardust and gold, the next it was shot down and crushed to the ground....
Unpublished Stories for Unknown Authors.
16 July 2008
The Monster
This is a poem I wrote a few days ago....
She put down her keys and closed the door
She knew that she's been there before
All the hurt and all the pain
She watched it surface all over again
Like a monster lurking in the dark
Waiting for her aching heart
Sitting there with a wicked smile
He knows it'll only be a while
He's waiting there till the time is right
Until she's lost the will to fight
That's when the monster will attack
Pain knows no one can hold him back
The monster of pain knows he's strong
He knows that tears won't be that long
She knows it too, she's been around
So she lets go and hits the ground
A door inside her heart slams shut
Some broken dreams are just thrown out
Just another door that's slowly closed
Another room that got exposed
It seems a lifetime, still there she lies
On that cold, hard floor she cries
And as she lay there outside that door
She closed her eyes and cried some more
She put down her keys and closed the door
She knew that she's been there before
All the hurt and all the pain
She watched it surface all over again
Like a monster lurking in the dark
Waiting for her aching heart
Sitting there with a wicked smile
He knows it'll only be a while
He's waiting there till the time is right
Until she's lost the will to fight
That's when the monster will attack
Pain knows no one can hold him back
The monster of pain knows he's strong
He knows that tears won't be that long
She knows it too, she's been around
So she lets go and hits the ground
A door inside her heart slams shut
Some broken dreams are just thrown out
Just another door that's slowly closed
Another room that got exposed
It seems a lifetime, still there she lies
On that cold, hard floor she cries
And as she lay there outside that door
She closed her eyes and cried some more
9 June 2008
25 June 2008
To Emad
Guys are stupid. They have the stupidest way of coping with sadness.
Today one of my colleagues at work left for a 3 month vacation that could end up in him just leaving altogether if he finds a better opportunity and better offer in Australia where he'll be going for those 3 months. He is the most amazing person I've ever had the privilege of working with. He is one of the best people I've known on a whole lot of levels. He's very intelligent, religious and good at heart. He is intellectual and friendly and considerate; a real gentleman.
We girls handle sadness in that old fashioned way.. we looked sad, shed a few tears. We didn't make a scene, but we had tears in our eyes.
On the other hand, the way guys reacted to the whole thing was outrageous to me. They were making jokes about it, making fun of us for being too emotional, and all sorts of other indifferent gestures. They were unhappy. They just didn't want to show it, and they had the ability not to. That's how men are built, they just don't get too emotional. I'm not blaming them or saying that they are insensitive creatures who are incapable of being considerate to the way others are feeling ( although I wish I could say that and maybe I'd feel a little better then ) I know they aren't all that. I know they mean the best at heart and that's just their way of being all macho-man-does-not-cry-in-the-face-of-distress. I just think there are certain situations where they could just not do anything at all.. just be silent and let it all take its effect peacefully...
Emad, you will be missed by everyone here. And even though we wish you all the best that God has planned out for you, and we know that there is definitely better than here, we just can't help but have that little hope that you will be back at the end of those three months with your lovely wife and definitely adorable baby boy.
We'll see you soon.
Today one of my colleagues at work left for a 3 month vacation that could end up in him just leaving altogether if he finds a better opportunity and better offer in Australia where he'll be going for those 3 months. He is the most amazing person I've ever had the privilege of working with. He is one of the best people I've known on a whole lot of levels. He's very intelligent, religious and good at heart. He is intellectual and friendly and considerate; a real gentleman.
We girls handle sadness in that old fashioned way.. we looked sad, shed a few tears. We didn't make a scene, but we had tears in our eyes.
On the other hand, the way guys reacted to the whole thing was outrageous to me. They were making jokes about it, making fun of us for being too emotional, and all sorts of other indifferent gestures. They were unhappy. They just didn't want to show it, and they had the ability not to. That's how men are built, they just don't get too emotional. I'm not blaming them or saying that they are insensitive creatures who are incapable of being considerate to the way others are feeling ( although I wish I could say that and maybe I'd feel a little better then ) I know they aren't all that. I know they mean the best at heart and that's just their way of being all macho-man-does-not-cry-in-the-face-of-distress. I just think there are certain situations where they could just not do anything at all.. just be silent and let it all take its effect peacefully...
Emad, you will be missed by everyone here. And even though we wish you all the best that God has planned out for you, and we know that there is definitely better than here, we just can't help but have that little hope that you will be back at the end of those three months with your lovely wife and definitely adorable baby boy.
We'll see you soon.
30 April 2008
Hmmm... What's That About?
So I bought more skirts, and I've been wearing them more often, with a silent T. Not OfTen, often.. with a silent T!
You see it coming, right? Random post ahead. Brace yourselves.
Mary Magdalene... caused a huge controversial dispute.. the whole book, The Da Vinci Code, was very controversial indeed. It was all full of nonsense when it came to facts about Christianity or Jesus Christ and anything related to all that, but it was a great mystery book and it kept us all anticipating the end with every page we turned. I got scorned for reading this book by friends who followed our Fathers' (father here refers to a priest) recommendations and "requests" not to read it. They were afraid (the fathers, i.e. the priests) that it would mislead us and confuse our information about our faith. Well, they have every right to worry about us. But you can't expect me to just do something for the sole reason that you asked me to. Oh, yeah, you actually do... what a surprise..(not really).
I don't really know why I wrote about that now. I read the book ages ago anyway.
What is it with fruits and vegetables? Which is which already? Why don't scientists, or whoever get to categorize plants for that matter, finally make up their minds about which plants are vegetables and which ones are fruits? They are so petty.
Petty.. Pattern.. what is with writing a double T when you'll pronounce it as "DR" anyway??? Humans are weird! "Pedry...Padrern"
You see it coming, right? Random post ahead. Brace yourselves.
Mary Magdalene... caused a huge controversial dispute.. the whole book, The Da Vinci Code, was very controversial indeed. It was all full of nonsense when it came to facts about Christianity or Jesus Christ and anything related to all that, but it was a great mystery book and it kept us all anticipating the end with every page we turned. I got scorned for reading this book by friends who followed our Fathers' (father here refers to a priest) recommendations and "requests" not to read it. They were afraid (the fathers, i.e. the priests) that it would mislead us and confuse our information about our faith. Well, they have every right to worry about us. But you can't expect me to just do something for the sole reason that you asked me to. Oh, yeah, you actually do... what a surprise..(not really).
I don't really know why I wrote about that now. I read the book ages ago anyway.
What is it with fruits and vegetables? Which is which already? Why don't scientists, or whoever get to categorize plants for that matter, finally make up their minds about which plants are vegetables and which ones are fruits? They are so petty.
Petty.. Pattern.. what is with writing a double T when you'll pronounce it as "DR" anyway??? Humans are weird! "Pedry...Padrern"
30 March 2008
Trends?
Hmmm, what should I write about this time?
It's been a while (as usual). I think that's a trend in my life. I get involved in something and then after a while I just forget all about it or put it aside, only to remember a while after that that "I was doing something.. wasn't I?". Does that have to do with my memory? Or is it all about me getting bored of stuff faster than the normal? And if that's the case, does that apply to every single thing in my life? Including the important things that simply can't be placed in that category?
I mean, if I create an account on some radio streaming site and then get bored of it and never log in again, that's not such a major issue. In fact, it's a dumb issue and if I give it any attension then I'm just as dumb. But if I go buy a car or a house and decide that I got bored of it and just want to change it after having it for a very short time, now that's a bit of a problem.
Let's take this to the higher level, where it could be a real problem....
Visualise this with me if you will:
I pick a great career and go the distance and start actually working in a good company, and just a little while later I'm considering a career shift. Not changing my job but in the same line of business.. Noo, that would actually make sense. A total change in careers is what I'm talking about, and it just keeps going.
Another drastic change: (and here, a good psychiatrist will tell you that this is probably what I've been meaning ever since I started writing this whole post, but was too afraid to admit it that I tried as much as I can to disguise it into just one of the many examples that merely explain my point) getting involved with someone, or just letting them know that you like them and then changing your mind a little bit later and not knowing why or how it happened.
Please note that I'm not saying this is happening to me right now. I'm saying it happened before and it's scary to think that it could happen again. Because you never know what could happen in your life. You could eat a certain type of food for an enterval of your life and maybe even consider it your favorite, and then all of a sudden it falls off your menu for no good reason, or maybe you decide to eat it a lot for the rest of your life and actually do that!
This wasn't a great "metaphor", here's another one:
You could do something once and never do it again, or the exact opposite; you do it enough times for it to become a trend. Like going to the gym, eating junk food, drinking massive amounts of alcohol till you pass out... Or liking someone and then not liking them anymore...
I sure hope this doesn't happen to me ever again. Ask me why...
It's been a while (as usual). I think that's a trend in my life. I get involved in something and then after a while I just forget all about it or put it aside, only to remember a while after that that "I was doing something.. wasn't I?". Does that have to do with my memory? Or is it all about me getting bored of stuff faster than the normal? And if that's the case, does that apply to every single thing in my life? Including the important things that simply can't be placed in that category?
I mean, if I create an account on some radio streaming site and then get bored of it and never log in again, that's not such a major issue. In fact, it's a dumb issue and if I give it any attension then I'm just as dumb. But if I go buy a car or a house and decide that I got bored of it and just want to change it after having it for a very short time, now that's a bit of a problem.
Let's take this to the higher level, where it could be a real problem....
Visualise this with me if you will:
I pick a great career and go the distance and start actually working in a good company, and just a little while later I'm considering a career shift. Not changing my job but in the same line of business.. Noo, that would actually make sense. A total change in careers is what I'm talking about, and it just keeps going.
Another drastic change: (and here, a good psychiatrist will tell you that this is probably what I've been meaning ever since I started writing this whole post, but was too afraid to admit it that I tried as much as I can to disguise it into just one of the many examples that merely explain my point) getting involved with someone, or just letting them know that you like them and then changing your mind a little bit later and not knowing why or how it happened.
Please note that I'm not saying this is happening to me right now. I'm saying it happened before and it's scary to think that it could happen again. Because you never know what could happen in your life. You could eat a certain type of food for an enterval of your life and maybe even consider it your favorite, and then all of a sudden it falls off your menu for no good reason, or maybe you decide to eat it a lot for the rest of your life and actually do that!
This wasn't a great "metaphor", here's another one:
You could do something once and never do it again, or the exact opposite; you do it enough times for it to become a trend. Like going to the gym, eating junk food, drinking massive amounts of alcohol till you pass out... Or liking someone and then not liking them anymore...
I sure hope this doesn't happen to me ever again. Ask me why...
22 January 2008
Songs...
In this post I will just put lines from songs that I like. Random to an extent. Quotes and lines that ring through my ears and my soul as I listen to the song...
"Take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing for you. "
"She lives a life she didn't choose, and it hurts like brand new shoes. "
"Never want to be set free, The more you give the more I need, Can't change what is meant to be, No you can't change destiny. "
'I sit and talk to God, but He just laughs at my plans. "
"Everyone has a secret, oh can they keep it? Oh no they can't. "
"If you need to fall apart, I can mend your broken heart, If you need to crash then crash and burn, you're not alone. "
"This is where the one who knows meets the one who doesn't care. "
"I'm feeling like a Monday, but someday I'll be Saturday night. "
"She makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. " *
"In the words of a broken heart it´s just emotions, taking me over. Caught up in sorrow, lost in the song. "
"How can you be so far away, lying by my side?"
"I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned."
"I'm free, free falling. "
"You make me smile, please stay for a while now, just take your time, wherever you go. "
"I love him in every way that a woman could love a man, from personal to universal, but most of all it's unconditional. "
"I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart. "
"But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd. "
"I believe the grass is no more greener than the other side. "
"Free as a bird, it's the next best thing to be. "
That's it for now... I will leave you with this last one:
"There ain't no substitute for the truth, either it is or it isn't. You see, the truth it needs no proof, either it is or it isn't. And you know the truth by the way it feels. "
*(Because she's so sexy, not because she's scary)
"Take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing for you. "
"She lives a life she didn't choose, and it hurts like brand new shoes. "
"Never want to be set free, The more you give the more I need, Can't change what is meant to be, No you can't change destiny. "
'I sit and talk to God, but He just laughs at my plans. "
"Everyone has a secret, oh can they keep it? Oh no they can't. "
"If you need to fall apart, I can mend your broken heart, If you need to crash then crash and burn, you're not alone. "
"This is where the one who knows meets the one who doesn't care. "
"I'm feeling like a Monday, but someday I'll be Saturday night. "
"She makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. " *
"In the words of a broken heart it´s just emotions, taking me over. Caught up in sorrow, lost in the song. "
"How can you be so far away, lying by my side?"
"I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned."
"I'm free, free falling. "
"You make me smile, please stay for a while now, just take your time, wherever you go. "
"I love him in every way that a woman could love a man, from personal to universal, but most of all it's unconditional. "
"I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart. "
"But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd. "
"I believe the grass is no more greener than the other side. "
"Free as a bird, it's the next best thing to be. "
That's it for now... I will leave you with this last one:
"There ain't no substitute for the truth, either it is or it isn't. You see, the truth it needs no proof, either it is or it isn't. And you know the truth by the way it feels. "
*(Because she's so sexy, not because she's scary)
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